Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
