Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
