I smell stomach acid.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
