Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's rum buckets o'clock
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
