420 ftw
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
