You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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