Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
