You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
