i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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