there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
