how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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