He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize