I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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