He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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