the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
