I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
