butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
