Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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