I skipped work to stalk him.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
