pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize