Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
