i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
