her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
