Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
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He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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