whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize