He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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