Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
