Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
