She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my shit smells like andre
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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