I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
