is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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