I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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