Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize