I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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