I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You pole danced in your parka.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
