why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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