so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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