I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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