im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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