Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
