they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
