Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
