Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
