My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
