There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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