Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she told me i tasted like america
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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