In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
a search helicopter?!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
