i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
