i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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