I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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