matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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