is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
