What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
