Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
