I only kidnapped one of them. chill
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
