I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
