that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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