After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
