In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also, beer. Big fan.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
