some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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