I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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