Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
