I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
