i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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